Relinquishing Control

One of the perks, and drawbacks, of being in the care of an RE is that if you do get pregnant they monitor you very closely for the first 6-8 weeks. The do multiple blood draws to check your HCG level (beta)(which is supposed to double every 48-72 hours, and do ultrasounds starting at 6 or so weeks to check for development, # of babies, and the heartbeat.

When everything is going well, this is great! Especially because you get to see your baby so early on. But when things are bad, you know often a couple of weeks before you will actually have a miscarriage (which is what happened to me last September). It is sheer torture knowing that you are going to have a miscarriage and just having to sit around and wait for it to start...eventually.

So, in lieu of the incident with the RE this cycle, I am not consulting them on this pregnancy and am being "forced" to relinquish that sense of control that I'm used to. It is tough! I only got one blood draw to verify pregnancy. My beta came in at 65 at 10dpo. That is pretty awesome. Its killing me to not know where it's at now, but I'm trying to relax. Click here to see a chart of averages for a beta. I will have to wait til I'm 8w3d to see the little bean(s), and find out how many there are and if they/it are healthy. I am not a patient person when it comes to these things. LOL!

So until May 15th, I am forcing myself to turn control over this pregnancy to God and trust that he knows what we need and what is best for us! It is soooo hard! :P

Katie