Friday, April 27, 2012

Things are looking up!

So...I have officially entered the "emotional" portion of pregnancy. LOL! It started yesterday...

(fade into flashback)

I was having a rough time keeping my crap together...everything was ticking me off...I was like a dragon with crazy PMS. It wasn't pretty!

Then, in a frenzy I call up the OB to see if they would see me sooner because I was having a PANIC ATTACK over the slight possibility that I might have a miscarriage, maybe. Thankfully they are used to dealing with crazies like me and talked me down. 

Fast forward to this morning when hubby was loading Tyler up into the car to visit Granny for the weekend and I was crying...Wait! Didn't I want to ship him off yesterday? And now I'm reduced to tears because I won't see his cute little face for a couple of days.

Oh Boy! Here we go! I think things are going to be just fine! :P

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Patience...It's not my virtue!

So, I have not been a very good blogger for the last week or so. I haven't really been inspired, but I'm feeling guilty and actually thought about something, so here it goes. The last 2 weeks have been HELL!

No...nothing is wrong with the baby(ies)(that I know of). I am NOT a patient person! It is killing me to not know what is going on inside my body. Having to wait until May 15th to find out is like 500,000,000,000 times worse than the 2ww!

One day I feel totally confident that all is well and there is nothing to worry about and then the next day I am a ball of stress worrying that I'm not really pregnant or that I'm miscarrying again. I have to calm down!

Thankfully, I regularly have unpleasant pregnancy symptoms that reassure me that all is well and progressing and I remember that I have to have faith that Heavenly Father knows what is best, and hope that his plan lines up with mine!

Anywho...that's really what's been going on with me, other than sick kid, sick hubby, and sick me! Blah! :P

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Relinquishing Control

One of the perks, and drawbacks, of being in the care of an RE is that if you do get pregnant they monitor you very closely for the first 6-8 weeks. The do multiple blood draws to check your HCG level (beta)(which is supposed to double every 48-72 hours, and do ultrasounds starting at 6 or so weeks to check for development, # of babies, and the heartbeat.

When everything is going well, this is great! Especially because you get to see your baby so early on. But when things are bad, you know often a couple of weeks before you will actually have a miscarriage (which is what happened to me last September). It is sheer torture knowing that you are going to have a miscarriage and just having to sit around and wait for it to start...eventually.

So, in lieu of the incident with the RE this cycle, I am not consulting them on this pregnancy and am being "forced" to relinquish that sense of control that I'm used to. It is tough! I only got one blood draw to verify pregnancy. My beta came in at 65 at 10dpo. That is pretty awesome. Its killing me to not know where it's at now, but I'm trying to relax. Click here to see a chart of averages for a beta. I will have to wait til I'm 8w3d to see the little bean(s), and find out how many there are and if they/it are healthy. I am not a patient person when it comes to these things. LOL!

So until May 15th, I am forcing myself to turn control over this pregnancy to God and trust that he knows what we need and what is best for us! It is soooo hard! :P

Saturday, April 14, 2012


Well, I have been debating for a few days how to say this to those of you who read my blog. I think the best way to say it is to not say it. If you are wondering what I'm talking about click here.

This is not really something I want everyone to know, so please don't say anything on Facebook. If you take the time to read my blog I wanted you to know. :P

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Holding Pattern

I am having a bit of writers block these days. We are in a "holding pattern" right now and it makes it hard for me to decide what to write about. On top of that, the progesterone has me exhausted!

Anyways, just trying to stay positive and hope that everything works out the way we want it to: a pregnancy, preferably one with only one or two babies, no major issues, and some good airfares so that I can go home this summer and see my new baby niece that will be delivered by c-section on May 10th. :P

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


I didn't realize I haven't written a post in like 4 days. Geesh! What is my problem?

Anyways, it has been an eventful few days. Saturday was a family day, Sunday was Easter...another family day, and yesterday I was running around for Dr. Appts.

On Easter, we got to my MIL's house and I realized that my foot and ankle were swollen. I didn't think much of it other than it was weird. Soon enough I had concerned parties warning me of blood clots and the mild panic set in. So yesterday it was still puffy and I went to the Dr. He didn't really say much, but sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound to rule out a blood clot.

They didn't see anything, so no big. I'm just swollen I guess. Hoping for a "good" explanation as to why if you catch my drift (wink, wink). :P

Friday, April 6, 2012

Keep Dreaming!

So, I was sitting here just now reading some other infertility blogs and I remembered a dream I had last night. In that dream I was quite pregnant. It was lovely! I don't remember much else about it other than I was surprised because I was very pregnant and didn't remember getting a BFP or any of the other stuff in the middle of pregnancy, but I didn't care!

Those dreams are so tough. On one hand you are so happy in the dream and everything, but when you wake up and realize it was just a dream you are heartbroken.

These dang hormones really mess with me...give me pregnancy dreams, make me have pregnancy symptoms, and make me a hot mess!

On a separate note, I was thinking this morning about my Dr. appointment yesterday and when the doc came in with my pee test results for the UTI he asked if I wanted to have them dip for pregnancy. For half a second I almost said yes, but ultimately told him it was too early, which is true. I realized this morning that if he had done the test there would have very likely been a positive because of my trigger shot. What a mess that would have been!

Speaking of my UTI, I feel so much better today! A dose of antibiotics and half a gallon of cranberry juice really goes a long way. I actually got a decent night's sleep last night for the first time since I ovulated. Woohoo! I'm still cranky though...dang hormones. :P

Thursday, April 5, 2012


So...I'm paying for not doing what the RE told me to and now I have a urinary tract infection. A doozy at that! Hopefully this is the only negative consequence of my disobedience. I'm really hoping for some good consequences in an other 9 days!


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Two Week Wait

There is this thing in the infertility world, feared by all who have to face it...The Two Week Wait! It is the two weeks between ovulation and when AF is due. It is by far the longest, most unbearable, frustrating time in a fertility cycle.

What makes it so bad? Aren't the drugs and RE appointments worse? NO They are not.

In this 2 weeks the egg fertilizes (or not), implants, and either you are pregnant or AF comes. Women in the 2ww spend the agonizingly long hours of the day analyzing every twitch, fart, and cramp in their abdomen and lady parts. We spend hours on Dr. Google taking quizzes to determine if we are pregnant, figuring out what our expected due date would be, and comparing symptoms with each other.

I am totally serious here.

It is even worse if you are put on progesterone. Progesterone is the hormone that elevates after ovulation to make your endometrium nice and beefy and homey for the little egg, and some women don't make enough (which is actually a pretty common cause of miscarriage). Many REs put their fertility patients on it automatically just to be safe. Progesterone side effects mimic pregnancy symptoms and lead to a lot of women (and their significant others) to believe they are pregnant when they are not.

Another fun thing about progesterone is it comes in all different forms: pills, shots, gels, creams, and suppositories (vaginal). Some are worse than others. The pills are easy, but have to metabolize in the liver, so many REs don't like them (I used them with Tyler. Suited me just fine!) The shots hurt (I've heard). The gels are inserted into the vajayjay and have to be scraped out, but don't leak (I've heard). I don't know anyone who has used the cream as Drs orders, but its out there. Most people get to experience the suppositories. They aren't painful or anything, but they melt...and leak. GROSS! Nobody likes the suppositories.

So anyways, if you know someone in the 2WW, be a pal and keep them busy so they don't go nutsy!