Sunday, September 16, 2012

Pity Party

I'm going to say this in advance...this post is a bit of a whiny rant. Consider yourself warned!

As you know, I am 26 weeks pregnant with quadruplets. I have been very very fortunate in this pregnancy so far. I haven't had any complications, I'm not on bedrest (which at this point is practically unheard of), and I have had a fair amount of help from mine and my husbands families and some friends. I am very grateful for this! That being said, I am getting sick and tired of everyone telling me how awful its going to be to have 4 babies at once to care for and how my life is over. I'm not an idiot...I know its going to be hard...REALLY HARD! It was hard with one baby.

These babies are miracles. I had a 95% chance of miscarriage! That number lessened as
time passed, but until I had hit 24 weeks there was little or not chance of survival if born. Once I hit 28 weeks, chance of major complications is very small. And every week after that is one less week they will spend in the NICU. But seriously it is going to be awesome. I will have a reminder all the time of how awesome God is, and how much trust he has in my and my husband to raise these children to be good people. That is a both a huge burden as well as a major confidence booster to know that God trusts us with his spirit children. Because of that I
have no doubt that we can do it.

Anyhow, I must really make this look easy or something because for all those who think its all over for us there are those who act like I should be business as usual. It makes me want to scream and tear my hair out! I HAVE FOUR BABIES IN MY BODY! I am measuring 43 weeks
people...that is 3 weeks past when you all couldn't take another day of being pregnant...and news flash...I have at least 2 weeks more to go, but probably closer to 8! I have to go to a cardiologist this week to make sure my heart is keeping up with the strain of supporting this
pregnancy. That is no joke!

So why do I feel guilty asking people to take a few hours out of their day only two days a week to come help me manage my 3 year old? Sure, I could send him to other people's houses, but these are my last weeks with just him. His life will be turned upside down, and it breaks my heart. So please understand why I don't want to just send him off. He will have to be shuffled around endlessly when I have to be back and forth from the NICU for who know how many weeks when the babies are born.

Anyway my point is this...I'm not wonder woman. I'm tired, I hurt, I can't take care of my family right now, and I feel pretty helpless. This was my timeout to feel sorry for myself. Enough said.



MRStypeA said...

you have every right to feel that way! i can't believe people are saying that to you... i am sure they just aren't even thinking. i hope that those babies stick it out for a few more weeks at least but i know it has to be awful on your body! good luck checking out your heart!!

Donna Masten said...

You are wonderful Katie. I'm going to give you the same advice I give my own daughter. When someone says something hurtful to you, you have to let it roll off you like water rolls off a duck, give yourself a good shake and keep on paddling! You are doing something right now that most of us couldn't even fathom. You are admired and you are blessed.

Jules said...

I'm having twins and I get the same comments from people about MY life being over. Um, excuse me, it's not YOUR life, people, so butt the hell out! What is the point in those kinds of comments? It just makes me want to slap people! I just smile and nod and walk away or change the subject ASAP. I don't even care if I'm offending people anymore. :) Wow, you are doing such a great job! Those babies are so lucky to have such a strong and caring Mom as you.

Sarah said...

Delurking to send hugs. I imagine having 4 babies at once (plus a toddler!) will be one of those things you take one moment at a time. And honestly what else can you do? In 6 months you'll look back and wonder how the heck you got through it, but you can do it! Will you have a lot of help once the babies get here? If you live in MN I'll take a shift or two :) just wanted to say as hard as it will be, you will get through it! And it will be worth it!