Thursday, March 29, 2012

When did I Lose the Right to Choose?

Well, today was the big day...the day where I go in and they say, "Wow! Look at all those beautiful, plump follicles! We would like you to trigger ovulation tonight and come in on Saturday at 8 am for IUI." That did NOT happen. It was more like, "Wow! You have 4 dominant follicles, and we aren't sure you should proceed with an IUI, but we can convert to an IVF (for $6500 little dollars)! But if you decided to move forward with the IUI you need to be aware of the risks of multiples and be prepared to perhaps 'reduce' your pregnancy. Or you can cancel the cycle."

Those are some heavy choices right there! After all we've been through this cycle, not to mention the previous 3, we don't feel like cancelling the cycle is something we want. I don't know about all of you, but flushing $500+ down the toilet is not something I enjoy doing.

So when I left there I felt like I was on a game show, placed before three doors, and asked to pick my best. Hubby and I discussed this and consulted our parents as well and decided to risk it and move forward with the IUI.

12 o'clock rolls around and the buzzer goes off (the phone) and I'm standing in front of the three doors with the game show host who says to me, "What is your decision?" I replied, "I want door #2! Lets make some IUI baby magic!" To which I am told, "Oh, I'm sorry! Door number 2 is no longer an option, but door number 1 looks mighty nice! And by the way...if you pick door number three and try to make baby magic on your own we can't trust you to play our game any more."

WHAT!!!!!!! Did I magically leave the United States of America and get transported to China or some other oppressive nation? When did I lose the right to make informed medical decisions for myself in the "land of the free"?

Naturally I cried and argued and pleaded for my IUI, but they won't budge. We don't have $6500 lying around so IVF is off the table. So we have to make a choice. If we do it on our own anyways and don't get PG, no loss. If we do it and get pregnant...I don't have to go back. If we do it, get PG, and then have another miscarriage or something then I'm stuck because if we don't "abstain from intercourse for the next 5 days" my RE just doesn't feel right about prescribing me fertility drugs in the future. Talk about a veiled threat!

So we have a choice. You'll just have wait and see what we decide. :P



Maryjo said...

OMG are you kidding me? Sounds to me like it's time to find a new RE! That's ridiculous! It reminds me of the phone call I got from my RE about saving our pennies towards IVF since she didn't think IUI was working. Little did she know that cycle did work, just didn't stick. Ugg! I hope you get your miracle!

A. Voelcker said...

Well they're glad you didn't conference me into the call... I'd have said, "Then I don't feel right about paying you..."

PeachesNCream said...

Holy crap, can't wait to hear what you decide. That's ridiculas.

Mark and Amy said...

Do I get a vote? I think you should try on your own and if it doesn't turn out simply look for a new RE!

I love how refusing treatment is allowed for infertility but not for other medical issues!

Anne said...

Sorry to hear about your crummy news! It makes me mad that REs want to know if you will "selectively reduce" before proceeding -- I bet they would go ahead with the cycle if you had agreed to SR and they believed you! If I was in your shoes, I think we would take our chances. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Anne said...

PS. We looked into how expensive IVF would be at the EE if we switch to the insurance with 50% coverage. Our share would be about $3500 but I can't remember if that includes the ICSI. It really ticks me off that if I pay for IVF out of my pocket, I will pay over $15,000 but if we have insurance, the negotiated rate with insurance is $7,000 so our share is $3,500. If you have to wait until open enrollment to switch insurance, do you know what your RE's negotiated rate (with the insurance company) for the IVF?

Katie said...

Anne- With what we have now (which is probably what you have) there is no IVF coverage. There are so many other insurance plans offered that we would have to really do some investigation into which was best. My financial advisor at the RE's is great and has offered to help us find the right policy if we try to switch.

Even when we said we would consider reduction they wouldn't do it after they gave that as an option. I think the RE I saw this morning go overruled by the rest of them.

Katie said...

And by "consider reduction" I mean if my life was in danger or one or more of the babies had major defects.